If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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