Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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