New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize