You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
