It's Friday. Sex?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
