I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
