you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
