Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
