woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
do nipples grow back?
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