woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
