i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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