i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
