It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
