I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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