ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
