Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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