He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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