Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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