Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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