just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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