Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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