He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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