I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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