Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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