you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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