Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
