Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize