i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
