Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
