To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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