I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
