i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
