Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
