Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
