Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There r osticjed everywhere
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
