belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
