she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
