He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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