Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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