dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize