I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
