i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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