But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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