she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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