Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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