Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize