I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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