he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
