I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
