I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
