Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
