can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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