one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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