You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
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I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I deserve this hangover.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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