there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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