I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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