A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
