Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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