omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
