a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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