PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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