what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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