hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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