This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
