Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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