Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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