does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
