Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
